Micro Dose #8: The Structured Conversation Tool

Dr. Dan here, your relationship coach with Micro Does #8. The Structured Conversation Tool. Now this provides the structure, which is nothing more than 5 rules to follow when you’re having a sensitive conversation with your partner. Rule 1: Pre determine how long the overall conversation will be, typically 20-30 minutes is a good amount of time. Rule 2: Pre determine how long each person will have to talk when it is their turned to talk, typically one minutes each, back and forth, works well, and I recommend using a physical timer to keep track Rule 3: Each person should have something to write on and something to write with, and this is not to take notes of what the other person is saying, but to remind yourself of what you want to say when it’s your turn to talk Rule 4: Negotiate and compromise and come up with the action, the behavior changes that you’re expecting to see in each other moving forward. Rule 5: Once the final timer has sounded, and the conversation is over, take about 30 minutes, and move away from each other and don’t have any conversation, so that you can focus on the positive aspects of the conversation you just had. Now today I am going to include a link to a longer video that will explain even more detail about how to use the structure conversation tool, why it will help, and how it can help eliminate conflict from your relationship.